i’m under:
NEW YOOOOOORK: i’m pretty sure i was under new york a while ago. actually, i just looked back, and i waxed romantic about it in this very blog approximately one year ago. i think part of what i loved about new york last year was just that it meant getting away from home and being in a place where i felt my age. recently, i’ve gotten myself into a psychologically delightful catch-22 in which i hate being home on the weekends because it’s boring (and, frankly, involves too much conversation with my parents) but i also hate visiting people on the weekends because it’s exhausting and i get sick of being a guest all the time. but the last few times i’ve spent a weekend elsewhere — DC, boston — i’ve been struck by how much more exciting new york feels. so much so that the prospect of living in any other city (at least at this point in time) is completely unappealing, if not depressing. if i were anywhere else, i’d feel like i were missing out. also, this may entirely be hova’s fault, because “empire state of mind” IS MY JAM.
bacon: what was i thinking all these years of ordering sausage, egg and cheese? BACON IS SO MUCH BETTER. and, actually, it’s better FOR you. maybe i should say less unhealthy. in any event, the guy who works the grill at my work cafeteria (tony) — makes the most incredible bacon, egg white and cheese on a kaiser roll i’ve ever had. i know what you’re thinking — “why bother getting egg whites? that’s like getting a diet coke with your big mac and fries. you might as well go all the way.” that is terrible reasoning and i dislike it. imagine using that reasoning with other things, like STDs. okay, extreme example, but my point is — i’m saving calories AND indulging. it’s an excellent compromise. on a different but related note — turkey bacon is terrible. however — turkey sausage is an excellent substitute for regular sausage.
my blackberry!: i feel like one of those people who chain smokes on the weekends, then starts having a few during the week, then says (and believes, completely): “i mean, i know myself, and i could definitely quit whenever i want.” mmhmm. i am addicted to my blackberry. it takes pictures, it gets email instantaneously, it has facebook and twitter (because, really, i need to CONSTANTLY have the means to update friends/strangers/acquaintances about my mundane thoughts and activities) AAANNNNDDD it has BBM-ing which for some reason really is easier and more convenient than texting. and more fun. also, because my bberry is the new tour, it is beautiful.
fall: has fall always been this great? it’s beautiful, comfortable and smells great. what’s that saying? like attracts like? anyway, everything about this fall is amazing. the bright colors, the mild temperatures (the best days peak at a delightful high-60 or low-70 and then slip into a low-50, high-40 at night for perfect sleeping weather), the cool, woody smell. fall actually makes me nostalgic for vassar — senior year, i had to drive back and forth a fair amount in the fall since i had braces and had to go to the orthodontist what felt like constantly, and there is nothing like the hudson river valley in the fall. and nothing like braces your senior year of college.
i’m over:
facebook notifications: i don’t give a shit if raquel michelle o’connell also commented on your status. unless she is responding directly to what i said, or is saying something unrelated but extremely entertaining, i don’t want to know about it. i compulsively “like” statuses and then my blackberry beeps with a facebook notification and i get so excited (hilarious wall post? message? attractive tagged photo?) and then it’s some rando saying “lol” or “good luck” to SOMEONE ELSE. uuuggghhhh. seriously facebook, if you know enough to post creepily relevant ads on my facebook page, please figure your shit out and only notify me about shit i care about.
people who get other people sick. i dislike it when people go to work when they are sick. i realize, however, that there are many compelling reasons people go to work when sick –you are a trooper, you have deadlines, you literally cannot afford to miss a shift, your manager would be upset, etc. none of this means you are not a germ vehicle, and the germ equivalent of air force one if you are in the service industry.
example one: two weeks ago, i was in line at starbucks and one barista shouts to the cashier: “hey! how are you feeling?” and the cashier kind of sways lethargically and says “better… i got a blood test today for swine flu and mono.” ummmm…. WHAT? the next thing she says: “can i help who’s next in line?” that would be me. we had to exchange money. thank god i carry around a travel-sized thing of purell.
example two: cashier at blockbuster wipes her nose, sniffles and says to her manager: “can i go get cough drops after i ring her up?” while she reaches her hand out for my credit card. eeuuuuggghhhhhhhhh.
boy scouts selling popcorn: this is two-fold. one: the boy scouts don’t allow gays or atheists to join, so f that noise. two: popcorn? okay, girl scout cookies are horrifically overpriced, the boxes seem to get smaller every year, and their uniforms are heinous. however, the cookies are delicious. POPCORN? like, if i wanted to get popcorn, i could go to the grocery store. but, i don’t want to get popcorn, because i don’t really like popcorn that much. i mean, give me a small popcorn at the movies and i will eat it in its entirety and then help you finish yours, but i never buy popcorn at the store, because let’s face it, there are better things to put in your mouth. like girl scout cookies.
ummm, i like new york too, but i don’t appreciate you belittling my city. BITCH. haha, LOVE.